Holidays

Happy times for all the ones who got what they wanted... hopefully it was something more than an iphone.

for your troubles, merry christmas

Family

I think.... if you knew my family, then maybe you'd know me. They're kind of a pain sometimes and sometimes i get tired of them but they're still family and they've always been there when no one else has.
Whenever I go home, i go because of my family. here are their names: Cerena, Gordon, Patsy, Abram, Laurel, Linea, Stephen, (whos in Iraq), Jesse, Jacqui, Gary, Keira, Tallen, Grandpa Jim.

remember them well and know their stories.

Morning anguish

Let my sleep lest i dream of unpleasant things. Wake me then if i can't on my own. It's not the best day and not the best morning i've had. But I'd rather forget if you don't mind.

I do not need to remember the past of pain and lost hopes

Sick..

I'm a mess and thats what I am. If you really wanted to get to know me, you would stick around long enough to figure out you don't want to. I change every year, every day is something stuck inside that will not go away. Rain comes then the sun and so and so forth. If the next day you saw me and I knew how to fly, then maybe I am worth your time.

For now find someone else to bake your cookies with.

-something active for your holidays.

Newport Beach

Im with my parents in Newport Beach at a Marriot Timeshare. I have my own room and television. No homework and stress, just relaxation. I am a fan.

Hell or something like it part 2

So a couple months ago i talked about how difficult school is.... Well that was a cakewalk compared to now. I spent all day working on a project then a paper, then dinner, then studying for the exam I have @ eight o clock bright and early oh joy! Lest we forget all the papers, homework and classess I had last week.
all i can say is that sometime God will throw some punches at you to wake up and I definitely need to wake up and recharge.

I cannot remember a solid day where i did not have to stress about the next because of an assignment since the last 3 weeks!

Dear God almighty what a terrible rush it has been.

Wow......

As many would know, today was black Friday. It is the day where all major retail/department stores open their doors at dawn to many hungry and excited shoppers eagerly wanting to see what favorite item of theirs they can get for 60-70% off. I have a few friends that are among the few that wake up at ungodly hours to go stand in line for these egregious events. I never really thought that sacrificing my sleep just to indulge myself further in my already consumer ridden life was worth the effort.
Today's news nailed down the reason for me. A Wal-mart employee was trampled to death while opening the doors of the store to hundreds of anxious consumers.

I have very few words for the disgust I find in this situation. The fact that a man was trampled to death because of discount sales only further reveals the savage nature of the species known as homo sapiens

I grieve for this man's loss of life but I also grieve for the continuing decline of the human race. How far have we really come when a man cannot simply do his everyday job without being trampled by hordes of hungry and bustling people?

This Christmas I think I'll try to find better things to stress about. Like whether the malnourished child in Uganda will get a meal for the night or if a family in Kenya can have clean water to bathe, cook, and clean for the day.

I would much rather do this than break down the doors of a department store to only sustain my selfish wants and desires


How

Thanksgiving vacation, not.

Alas, even in the midst of a thanksgiving holiday I must work on schoolwork and deal with logistical problems dealing with the social action committee. Even if I do not do any work on them over break I will pretty much be screwed on Sunday night.

I often wonder if my prayers about being challenged and uncomfortable are truly being answered.
God works in my life in sometimes the most complex of ways. May I prove able to uphold the difficult tasks ahead of me.

The best fortune cookie I ever read was "All your hard work would soon pay off"


Jesus take all of me.

Late again

I got pretty good sleep for the past coupla weeks now ima up late again. I have an email and a letter to write. Not too hard right?

I think not.

- wish I thought about you the other day

A Grand Scene throught an amber lense

I want to finish this movie! I want to it to be loved and adored by our hearts that came up with it.
I want it to be cherished as a piece of art. I want it to the first step into a much larger world.
I want it to mean that pigs can fly and so can I.


Grace is alive here there, and everywhere.

Resurrect Me

I dehumanize so I can read between what is a lie and what is Truth

honesty is always the best policy especially when you have a gun......

Portland Trailblazers

My roommate came in the most excited I have seen him all year. He watched his favorite basketball team win in the closing minutes.

It was encouraging to live vicariously through him for the few seconds that I witnessed.

I have really been overworked and lazy and stressed as I am right now. Actually annoyed since I just found out that I missed two reading assignments for my retarded survey of mass media class.


anyways I love my roommate.

Alas, homework has become the bane of my existence

Emeliaaaa my dear come back to me.

Nolan for some reason has a crush on Taylor....

La La La I love my friends

SO I know that this is really stupid and trivial but I just want to say

I got nineteen more happy 20th birthday wishes than my ex-girlfriend micaylee did on her 18th birthday.

That makes me feel good inside.

Losing my mojo

I think somewhere between the time when i was dumped by micaylee and when I decided I would never open myself up to another girl again I basically lost my ability to win the respect of another female.
I guess I should be careful how hard I build my shell.

sleep well tonight
because I'll never bother again.

Singing

A woman at the Stirring tonight told me that she really liked my voice.

I've never had a stranger tell me that, especially during a worship service. I wonder if God is trying to tell me something......

What i once did.....

Over the summer, i went on a missions trip that entailed riding 2600 miles from Oregon to Tennessee. It was to raise money for an organization called Blood:Water Mission that works in Africa building wells and combating AIDS through this.

I always say that it changed my life and I believe this, the question is, however, how?

I spent a month at home working and riding my bike around before I went back to school in September and have been pretty much immersed in that ever since.

I miss the amazing friendships that I formed over the summer and the amazing things that I experienced while over the trip.

My point is.... I do not really know how to put into words how this trip changed my life.....

All that i know is that it was probably one of the greatest experiences in my life ever since I went overseas to the Philippines in 2005.

School has almost consumed my life, I have not taken my beautiful bicycle for a good ride in over a month and I feel out of shape again.

I do not understand my plight nor do I feel that I need it but I have faith that one day I will know what all that time was for.

My team that is sadly no longer a team.... I love you dearly with all that I have. You were my family on this trip and I hope that we can be together again someday......

aFrica still requires our attention

"Agnus Dei qui tolis peccata mundi, mi se re re nobis pacem"

Things I want to do.

I m tired of school. i want to spend time youtubing, blogging, podcasting, downloading, playing guitar, running, cycling, and partying with all my hot and sexy friends.

school should leave.......

Airband

I got called a jonas brother today. I am not sure if that is cool because lots of hot chicks think they are cool or if it is absolutely retarded.

So I was in this Airband competition for my school and I pretty much led much of the performance along with my friends who did it with me. We started off with Beat it covered by Fall Out Boy and then led into a song called Beyond Belief by Lecrae topping it off with a retarded rendition of Jonas Brothers. My favorite part most of all, was doing Don't Stop Believing by Journey. I pretty much made that performance. The funny thing is this might be as close as I'll ever get to being a rockstar like I always dreamed.

I mean we had all the hott soccer girls run up to the front to scream and shout and basically try to take our clothes off. I got to stage dive into some of my buddies arms . On top of that I got to play keyboard with my awesome other friends Nick, Adam, and Logan.

I had fun this night, but in the big world of things, I am not really one to buy into the whole ego thing. I would rather have one person see me for who I am than a hundred see me as some awesome rockstar who can lip-sync.

tomorrow I will wake up do laundry and do homework. That is my reality and that is my case.
The fact that tonight made everything awesome will be irrelevant tomorrow.

I have to remember who I am and who God wants me to be.

Thank you for tonite and for all the lemonade.

"Agnus Dei quitolis peccata dona nobis pacem"

Stress dehydrates.

So I have been learning that if I just take everything in stride and stop burning out I will be okay. For the most part, every day that I am mad I probably take away a couple days off of my life.

Okay time to watch Star Wars

Taylor Lukehart does hand stands.

Done over again.

I'll count down the days when you stop reminding me of your ridiculous blind emotion.

Remember this time.

If you find out you cannot have what they have then find something they do not have. Take only what you need.

I saw a light today on the edge of a lake below a vast Peak towering over me. Now I am back in my room dead tired........sleeppppyyy

I never felt satisfied with my writing. There was one essay in Senior English that I felt satisfied with and I got an 'A' on it as well. The thing is it was never a very challenging paper. It only had to be five paragraphs and the thesis was an easy one to explain.

I did poorly on a synthesis paper today. I should have done way better than I did but because of laziness and distraction I forgot about the whole point of the paper. Plus, it was only 100 words pathetic.

This has been one of the hardest semesters for me. Classes are over the roof. I have an exam on Wednesday plus guitar lessons I have not practiced for. I am basically screwed and the worst part is I am horrible with my money.

I think that this will be the year that I truly begin to change.

Purpose?

I hope that someday I can find out what all this time was really for. Because I have lived the last 8 to 10 years of my life not really understanding their purpose at all.

4 weeks in,... now what?

I've been here all of September now and I feel like I have settled pretty easy now. A couple things however... I feel very alone sometimes and I do not know why.

Phillipians

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

I tell you right now it is very hard to hold true to this verse. Hands down.

It is now the fourth week of school. These last couple of weeks have been difficult to say the least. Besides being swamped with homework and other stresses, I have been rejected twice this month. I auditioned for the chapel worship team, something I really wanted to do this year and I did not make it.

I applied for the open Student Activity Coordinator position and did not get the job.

I am not one to be dramaticizing things all the time and making them bigger deals than they really are but it has just been hard to deal with the rejection and the thought that you yourself just did not try hard enough.

I am trying to have a good attitude about it and let God bring his peace. I feel that I could easily make a huge deal out of it then I need to and people would feel sympathy for me, but I choose not to be that way. I choose grace and peace.

I hope and pray for other opportunities and the discernment that God will provide at the right time.

Perhaps this just wasn't the right time for me to be involved in these things.

A good person

My friend didn't get much sleep all weekend. He spent all of last night helping a girl to the hospital. He said she was sick from not taking her medication for her asthma.

He got back around 7:am.

Some people are celebrities and some are just good people. People who know what is right and do it without hesitation.

I just like real life stories of valor and integrity. Something you do not really see on television anymore

I just finished being at Sharing night at my school. It was a night of stories and laughs as people from school went up and spoke about their many adventures in the mission field over the summer. I was representing the bike team that rode 2600 miles from Oregon to Tennessee. It was kind of a somber time because I don't really know how I am supposed to be after this epic trip that seriously changed my life. I dunno.... all I really know is that I miss the wonderful people who went on the trip with me and the love that we had.

oh well time to finish this snickers bar and a paper due for English tomorrow.

Hell or something like it

Okay so it's like late on a wednesday night in Yaks coffee shop. Today sucked. I was pretty much busy from the get go. I missed chapel to work on a paper from Oral Comm. I worked on it until my empty stomach could take it no longer and I went to the caf for lunch to work on my paper as much as I could until chapel teardown. Chapel teardown is one of my jobs on campus and it is no easy cooker. It is short but very difficult because we have to remove the tarp flooring over the gym's hardword floor and pick up all the chairs.
So after hard work, I had class, three of them. I actually ended up skipping one of them because I had to continue working on a paper which was supposed to be much shorter than what I wrote(hmph).

I hit the writing center to get some points for english and watched our soccer team lose to Chico State 7-1. On top of that i got stuck in the game Stick em' today after all that had happened on the first day. Y eah i know it doesnt sound that bad but I kind of just learned today that I am going to probably be overbooked sometime this year.

Pray I make it through the rest of the week with productivity and poise.