Friday night under the Heavenly Donut lights.

I met a man tonight. His name as he put it, was "DAvid." He told me I had a good heart and he held my hand looking into my eyes believing in me as Jesus does. I am so glad that I made the choice to go out downtown tonight. Jared Rouse, Natalie Hoy, his friend Caleb and I all cruised around the downtown area with our donuts looking for a good conversation. In total we actually met 4 amazing and entertaining people. There were the transient duo of Derrick and Jay two young twentysomethings on their way to Mt. Shasta living off the land. Roger the drunk guitar player who's joviality brought a wonderful light to the evening. And of course David. His full name was David Richard Barnett, I believe. I could be wrong. He was a man that God had ordained for us to meet. He spoke words of life and power into us. He prayed over Jared and us. Every time he looked at me I felt him staring straight into my soul. I am no expert on intuition, or literal prophetic telling, but I know that this man saw something in us this night.

God be good. The kingdom is here and we must find it continually.

Leadership

I have this feeling that people seem to trust me with responsibility. I mean, I have 4 people plus a co-leader giving a huge level of dependence on me as someone who will lead them into a far off place soon to be filled with many unexpected wonders and disappointments.
I was recently given the honor of the title Resident Assistant for the next school year. This is a job that is designed for older students to be able to positively interact with their peers and assert a level of leadership and direction for an entire college dorm floor.
I am also currently a so-called Vice President/communications director for a club on campus called Social Action Committee.

I do not know if anyone knows this aside from my family, but I will state it now. 2 years ago I had not even thought about having this sort of responsibility. I was not a leader nor did I want to become one.

The beginning of this year began with God calling me into leadership. The rest has been the story of my sophomore year.

It has been frightening, hectic, stressful, a burden, an excitement, and a blessing. I truly feel that God is making me into the person he has called me to be even more so as I am taking on these new responsibilities.

I am amazed at where I am now as opposed to a year ago.

"what lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lent and other things given up

Well I try not to lust for one but it befalls me almost always. And i guess there was this awesome time where I ate healthy and lived healthy and slept well. That was summer. I think fast food could go because I do love it for second dinner long after I should. Winco will suffice for now. Love you Winco. If I was a punk rocker and needed food, I would go to Winco. I think I will not buy any awesome new flashy and sometimes gay clothes off the internet either. Luckily I am not too compulsive to overlook the tax and shipping fees that push a purchase over the edge. So... still...what to give up for Lent?

Such a strange time... I miss going to the library and finishing all my homework. I also wish I could be as smart and spiritually deep as my friend Jared Rouse. If any of you want the time to get to know someone, get to know Jared Rouse.


friends are the stuff love shapes.

Whoa! Happy Day!

The following is an account of Friday's events:

I will be an RA next year.

Since the beginning of this year I dreamed of becoming an RA. I wanted to be important, I wanted to wear that badge that said something about you as a person. I had a lot of reasons for wanting to be an RA. My brother was an RA, then an Assistant RD, now he is a Graduate RA. I mean that was not the only reason, but it was definitely one of them. Most of these are trivial and not the right attitude for wanting this position. In all honesty I just felt a calling from God to step up in leadership and he blessed me so much by granting me this opportunity and the role of missions leader as well.
This week was hard and at times very draining emotionally, but in the end it had a happy ending. It was so great. Matt, Katie, Taylor and I all opened up our letters in front of Dana who apparently already knew. It could not have happened a better way because all of us got accepted and we all screamed and jumped for joy and did not care who heard us.
After the jubilation, I went with James Spencer to see Aubrey's, Hannah's, Eleanor's, Cynthia's, and Katie's moms. What a blessing to see the families of our friends!

and after that, I went with James, Matt, and Ian Brooks to a Jesus Culture worship night. Let me just say that 2 and a half hours of pure worship is something I would hope every passionate lover of God would experience.

God you are beautiful and amazing. Lead me in the ways of your love and grace. I am so happy!

Thank you for an amazing day filled with glorious laughter and joyous praise!

What a happy day. I love that I am in the arms of grace.

Love to love God

...God

I think if God wanted me to be an A student, then I would have to forsake friendships. I guess that is just the way he made me.

oh what beautiful letdown. I learned that God believes in us today.

School? learning?

Are school and learning really all that relative? I think in the sense that you learn to nap frequently or you learn to justify not doing hw for the sake of cultivating community then yes. I do not know if I am cut out for this whole school thing. I mean I thought I was freshman year but now I have become a slacker yet again. Ugh, Emelia and my Mother would be ashamed of me. It it late as usual here in my dorm room. I envy my roommate because he goes to bed with such ease. Whereas I, end up wasting time online or doing hw. I still have a short ethics paper due tomorrow and I think I have something else for Writing for Mass Media, but I cannot remember. I would spend more time in the library if it wasn't so darn stuffy. Stuffy and warm makes me sleepy and then I just end up taking naps in there or going on a major add rampagel, but I know that I get lots of work done in there.
I came to the realization that I did not come to college because of the academic quality so to speak. I realized that I still do hate the academic and curricular system of grading and papers, and projects. Group projects? When will I ever be in one that I like?
Anyhow, I realized that I am here not on my own accord but of God's. I never thought about college really until my senior year of High school. My Senior English teacher kept a college acceptance board in her classroom for all her students to write on for the schools they had been accepted to and which ones they were choosing. I watched week after week as people wrote down the big names of UC Davis or UC Berkeley. Then I got news in December that I had been accepted to Simpson University in Redding, California and had a few weeks to make my deposit and commit to the next fall semester.

I went up to that board and wrote down Simpson University on it. Then I circled it, labeling it as the school I had chosen to attend the following semester.

Here I am, still hating school as a system, but loving the fact that I am where God wants me to be.

That alone makes all the difference in the world

Contentment!? what is it? Why is it? Perhaps it is the idea that maybe in the great scheme of things, amidst the pain, failure, stress, anxiety, and hate, everything will turn out, in some strange and twisted way, alright.

Missed a class

For some reason I chose not to go to Hermeneutics. I feel that in some twisted way or form it was justified given what we might have talked about and the lack of breakfast, and preparation I would have had for the day. Basically, considering I have 2 other classes and 3 meetings to meet plus a friends bday present to prepare. I guess I have time on my hands.

Okay now I am going to leave and do these things.

carpe diem

Indecent exposure

Well not literally but I have to talk about it. Today as I was walking in the parking lot, I saw that someone's girlfriend had decided to write on a car window that she liked him very much(with graphic hearts drawn for effect). I instantly felt like I was in high school again. I guess I am just a negative prick but honestly? Why do you feel the need to publicly announce something like that? It is as if the paparazzi was just waiting for that to show up or something. I
I swear if I have not seen enough people start dating, get engaged, or even married this past year. It drives me crazy. I am a big skeptic to the extent that I am convinced that some of these people just want to get some but want to try and justify it with their so called "Christian morals".
I do not know what they were or were not taught in Sunday School or by their parents or even their peers. But dear God, why do you have to tell the world on your car window?

I would only hope that God is put first in these relationships which I know for a fact is not an easy thing.

Let's just hope the next window does not read "Last night was amazing. Do me again!"

" Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling love" -Albert Einstein

Morning

Wake up and smell the sunshine. Good super bowl last game. Why does everybody feel the need to write 25 random things about themselves? Well I guess if it builds community whilst not creating a facebook dependency then we are okay.

backrubs are the most misunderstood gestures.