School? learning?

Are school and learning really all that relative? I think in the sense that you learn to nap frequently or you learn to justify not doing hw for the sake of cultivating community then yes. I do not know if I am cut out for this whole school thing. I mean I thought I was freshman year but now I have become a slacker yet again. Ugh, Emelia and my Mother would be ashamed of me. It it late as usual here in my dorm room. I envy my roommate because he goes to bed with such ease. Whereas I, end up wasting time online or doing hw. I still have a short ethics paper due tomorrow and I think I have something else for Writing for Mass Media, but I cannot remember. I would spend more time in the library if it wasn't so darn stuffy. Stuffy and warm makes me sleepy and then I just end up taking naps in there or going on a major add rampagel, but I know that I get lots of work done in there.
I came to the realization that I did not come to college because of the academic quality so to speak. I realized that I still do hate the academic and curricular system of grading and papers, and projects. Group projects? When will I ever be in one that I like?
Anyhow, I realized that I am here not on my own accord but of God's. I never thought about college really until my senior year of High school. My Senior English teacher kept a college acceptance board in her classroom for all her students to write on for the schools they had been accepted to and which ones they were choosing. I watched week after week as people wrote down the big names of UC Davis or UC Berkeley. Then I got news in December that I had been accepted to Simpson University in Redding, California and had a few weeks to make my deposit and commit to the next fall semester.

I went up to that board and wrote down Simpson University on it. Then I circled it, labeling it as the school I had chosen to attend the following semester.

Here I am, still hating school as a system, but loving the fact that I am where God wants me to be.

That alone makes all the difference in the world

Contentment!? what is it? Why is it? Perhaps it is the idea that maybe in the great scheme of things, amidst the pain, failure, stress, anxiety, and hate, everything will turn out, in some strange and twisted way, alright.